Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
