I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
