We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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