I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
where are my eyebrows?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
