summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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