I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
