I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
