She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
