i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
