did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Welp...herpes.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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