this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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