i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
