she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I love you.
Bad choice
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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