i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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