Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
