we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
