Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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