WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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