THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
