eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
