Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There's always time for handjobs
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
