toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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