well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
