remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
