gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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