Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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