I think i peed on brittanys purse
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
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I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
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I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
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