Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
