Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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