Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
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Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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