Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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