life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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