u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
