Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
