im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
