if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My pussy is not your playground.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
