I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
