Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
