Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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