how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
