Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
