Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
