I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
