Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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