I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
