look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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