so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
