i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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