will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
