TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
