I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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