dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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