come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
COCAINE IS GR8
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
