there's paper in my vomit.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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