I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
