it hurts more in the daytime
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
