Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
