Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
