I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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