oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
