I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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