I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize