Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
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This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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