he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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