so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
